grateful

It's been a crazy busy day.

I discovered that my van was broken into last night and the window smashed. Of course the GPS was gone, but it looked like they must have been in a hurry since they didn't bother even digging through any compartments. Not that they would have found much anyway... diapers, gum wrappers and lollipop sticks, an odd sock or two probably aren't anyone's idea of a treasure.

So today was spent doing a police report, calling insurance, window- fixer company and digging through files to find the needed documents. And somewhere in between all that, there was Bella's ballet class, a shopping trip to Costco and Target with 5 less than thrilled kids, laundry, dishes, etc... trying to figure out our pool's maintenance issue's (like how much shock do you put in after your bro-in-law so kindly dumps the decomposed bird out that you found in the filter) and dealing with a stomach that has either finally caught the kid's flu or is just reacting to way more stress than it's used to.

I confess to several moments of self-pity and plenty of doubt. Did my van really have to get broken into? Now?? While my husband is 1/2 way around the world, far, far away? Did the pool pump really have to quit on top of it? And why in the world did I not pay more attention during the many times my patient husband has tried to show me where all the important documents and files are located on our computer?

It all worked out though. I am so grateful for those I can call who help so willingly.
My bro-in-law took care of the bird and the shock, my mom and dad were able to help me with the van, I have a brother who's great with computers, and my rockin' sister, Kristin, figured out the pool pump- you are the man, Kris!

At the end of the day my children and I are safe, fed, sheltered, and blessed.
As difficult as this feels to be separated from my husband for this extended time and all the additional duties and responsibilities I have as a result, I still have so much to be grateful for!

Right now, my husband is over in Ethiopia, homeland of my beloved new sons. Thinking of and comparing my life to the lives of millions of widows and single mothers there who have no hope of a husband returning soon, no food with which to feed her starving children. No one to call in her time of need, none to step forward and ease her suffering. Sometimes sick herself, maybe even dying, she has to choose between watching her children starve to death or giving them up to be raised by others.
Either way she looses them.
How can I ever complain about my own inconveniences knowing this?

It's been really difficult, the last several days, to feel the joy that I should be feeling in knowing that my sons are soon coming home. The stress of dealing with an agency that has proven to care more about their bottom line than in making reparations has been painful at times.
Some where I have let my circumstances rob me of God's peace and the trust that He is still working, even though it may not be visible to my eyes at the moment.

Yet, I am in awe when I look back and see all that God has done to bring us to this threshold of welcoming my boys home.

In awe of the way, that, after praying for so many years, God moved my husband's heart to finally start the adoption process. In awe of how God provided house and income. In awe of how, despite many set-backs and road blocks, God has made Kidus and Biruk ours.
Miraculous!

So I will end this day, not in discouragement and despair, but in thankfulness and praise to Him!




*this post was started yesterday, but due to consistent interruptions, not completed until today!